Tsunami, Sovereignty, and Mercy

Tsunami, Sovereignty, and Mercy

Those who say that Calvinists (or, those who hold to an "absolute" sovereignty of God) make God into a monster do an even greater injustice by making him into a weakling who lacks foresight. I believe that Scripture teaches (and I would greatly prefer) that God is omnipotent and omnibenevolent AND mysterious. To prefer a good God who cannot control his creation is a much graver indictment than prefering a powerful God whose ways are mysterious, whose thoughts are above our thoughts.

some thoughts.

O you who love the Lord, hate evil!

If you love Jesus, silence is hatred.

Is this the apology he called for?

Every time I hear someone reassure me that God is not 'mean-spirited' and that he is 'a gentleman' and that everything hangs on my freewill, I hear a man embarassed of God's sovereignty, freedom, and grace. He apologizes for his greatness, in order not to offend me--he chooses rather to offend God.

I feel many things at once:

1. Grief for the injustice and arrogance displayed toward the free grace of God.
2. Contempt (with too little pity) for the presumptuous preacher.
3. Shame and humility and fear that I should be exalted with freedom above my own Maker, and that I should be shown more respect than he.

Oh for the resources to preach! There are times when I long to take up a pulpit immediately in order to offer up a raised voice exalting the free grace of God!

some (anxious) thoughts.

When I Don't Desire God

I've just finished Piper's When I Don't Desire God; what an amazing book. The best chapter in my state, was chapter 6: Fighting for Joy like a Justified Sinner (Learning the secret of gutsy guilt).

What I appreciate so much about Pipers books, second to his penetrating and hallowing treatment of the Word, are his inclusion of so much of the heights of various authors he's read over his lifetime. He has gone before us, and culled out the gems from hundreds of authors, old and new, and presented before us the best of what they had to say. I'm very thankful to God for him.

He has given me good advice, and the most practical for me was chapter 11. I know what I need to do. I need to arise early, set a a schedule of proper diet, sleep, exercise, AND prayer, and keep it. This will pull me 85% out of this mire, should God so choose to enable me to fulfill this endeavor. I should also find an outlet for ministry to others; this will take my mind from myself and put it on to Christ and others.

So here is my prognosis. What a wonderful book: time well spent--very well spent. I will read it again one day.

some (concluding) thoughts. On to Bunyan...

Amazon.com: Books: Calvin Institutes of the Christian Religion (2 Volume set)

Amazon.com: Books: Calvin Institutes of the Christian Religion (2 Volume set)

I've just ordered:

- Reflections on the Psalms, C. S. Lewis;
- God in the Dock, C. S. Lewis
- The Journal of Jim Elliot, edited by Elisabeth Elliot;
- The Silmarillion, by J. R. R. Tolkien; and
- Life Together, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I hope to finish Piper's When I Don't Desire God and Part II of Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress before the year is out. Then I will begin Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov--though I should really finish these other books I'm still working on first:

- Paradise Lost, John Milton
- The Reformed Pastor, Richard Baxter
- On Mortification, John Owen
- The Death of Death in the Death of Christ, John Owen
- The Forgotten Spurgeon, Iain Murray
- Redemption: Accomlished and Applied, John Murray
- The Freedom of the Will, Jonathan Edwards
- The Diary of David Brainard, Jonathan Edwards

...and I'm probably forgetting some. Wow. That's way too many to be reading all at once, and way too many to be drawing out. I could probably knock out a few of the little ones in one day...some will conitnue to be read in small installments for a long time (FOW, DB, DOD, etc.).

How can I possibly read everything I want to get read 'before dying?' So much to learn. So much to understand and embrace and turn my heart to Christ.

Just a quick update.

Dostoevsky's Notes from Underground

I've just finished Dostoevsky's cryptic Notes from Underground. I can't say that I fully (or even partially) understand it; but I can say that there are certain sections of the UG Man's ravings which seemed to be frighteningly familiar: the paranoia, the suspicion, the cowardice, the 'game.'

I would probably have gotten a bit more out of it if I understood more about the 'conversation' into which it was interjected, and more about Russian nihilism of the time. And a score of other things.

Nevertheless I, strangely, enjoyed it. Perhaps mostly because I finished it.

Pevear was right, though, it seems that near the end he is talking to me, to "us" in the real world--that I am at the table to which he has come uninvited, and that I am the object of his rant. Nihilism is truly an unwelcome guest. I would love to read his notes or explanations of it--and especially what the censors removed from it.

I finished Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship the other day, also. I will no doubt read it again one day.

some (recordkeeping) thoughts.

The Fullness of the Godhead Bodily

ESV Bible Online: Passage: Colossians 2:9

Fulness can mean either of quality, or of quantity. The fullness of God which dwelt in Christ was his qualitative fullness, not his quantitative fullness. For Christ, who is all God yet not all of God, died at Calvary. But God didn't die. There is more (in quantity) of God than Jesus. There is the Father, and there is the Holy Spirit. They did not die, but Jesus--in whom all the fullness dwells--did die.

These are crude terms, and an even cruder explanation, but I think it sheds a bit of light on the idea. But we should be ok with the fact that we can neither fully understand nor fully explain exactly what transpired on the cross. What happened was something infinite, eternal, magnificent. Our finite, obscured-view, unmagnificent minds cannot yet grasp it: "for we see in part..."

Just a thought, inspired as I read Bonhoeffer's chapter on The Body of Christ, in Cost.

Update

I've been accepted to ELIC's program for July of 2005, and they've asked to use my short essay answers in their marketing material. So that's encouraging!

I think I've decided fully against WTS. I am, however, now considering SBTS--if I go anywhere other than Wheaton (where I'll go only if the Lord wills).

Other than that, nothing has happened. I am stagnant. I've set out on another new schedule to try to pull out of this slough; I've gone 3 days out of 5. It is rigorous, but I have the time and the resources to be rigorous. Perhaps I don't have enough pressure.

My 30th is coming up fast. Spending it in Ireland would've been nice, but probably not at all private enough. Since we're not going to Ireland (at this point--though miracles do happen), I will (Lord willing) spend it alone somewhere--probably Sunday River. I may not have the finances for it, but I will want to spend the day in reflection and solitude (or at least anonymity). And I'd also like to enjoy a pint of Guinness.

Reading update:
- I'm slowly nearing the end of Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship, which has been very good--and very challenging. - I've started Piper's When I Don't Desire God, which has been helpful--especially the last chapter I read (ch. 6).
- Started Tolstoy's War and Peace because I'm in the mood for some Russian fiction with Christian themes. I've ordered the Pevear/Volokhonsky tranlation of Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov, which I'll begin in January (with TC, at his suggestion).
- Started part II of Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress.
- Took up Edwards' Freedom of the Will again.
- Also have resumed Owen's Temptaion and Sin.
- Still reading Milton's Paradise Lost.
- Piper's Life as a Vapor is in the bathroom (1/3 done).
- Reading through Newton's and Cowper's Olney Hymns as a lead in to morning prayer.

So, all of this is scheduled thorughout the week, along with audio or written sermons on the weekends. Spurgeon's devotional is also worked in. So, rigorous might be one word for it; maniacal might be another. Of course there is also an hour of Bible reading in the morning, as well as 45 min. of exercise. If I could only keep it up on a daily basis. It requires a 5:30am wake-up and a 10:30pm retirement. So I suppose I should go.

For weeks now, my constant prayer has been "Lord, renew my mind and rekindle my heart, for your name's sake." As can be seen in the ONELIFE devotionals.

Once another book has been completed (or, psychotically, taken up) I'll post again. Until then...

some (dazed and confused) thoughts.