It Is Never Right to Be Angry with God - just read this this morning; and it seems to agree with what I was trying to say somewhere below about feelings being the end of the conversation. Maybe not.

ESV Bible Online: Passage: 1 Corinthians 4: "14 I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. 15 For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. 16 I urge you, then, be imitators of me."

I don't think Paul appealed to his fatherly relationship to indicate a deficiency in the discipleship structure in the Corinthian church. I think, in his desire to persuade them, he says "I am not a teacher to you like most men. I do not appeal to you as a mere teacher, but as your father. So listen to what I'm saying." A father is more authoritative, a father is more concerned, a father is mor well received. So, in context, I see his pulling the "father" card only to persuade them to hear his arguments.

However, this does not mean that I reject the idea of a father-son type of discipleship model per se. I think it is implied when we realize this was his method, and when we read him imploring his 'sons' to 'be imitators of me.'

Not sure what the implications of that are.

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on another note, i have a bit of a chicken-egg dilemma. Did sola scriptura spring from cessationism, or did cessationism spring from sola scriptura?

Peace that surpasses all understanding does not come from knowing what your tomorrow holds; peace that surpasses all understanding comes from knowing that God holds your tomorrow. It does not come from knowing the details of your future; it comes from knowing that God has detailed your future. And as we cling to the vine that is Christ, He will nourish us with fruit-bearing life. For it is God that gives the increase.

A thought that came to me as I was praying with a young man about his tomorrows. Thank you, Lord, for the peace that surpasses all understanding.

a few thoughts from the past few days:

- I'm flattered by those who accuse me of having a disdain toward women by not dating. They insinuate that I'm withholding something good from them. A fine compliment. If only they knew, on the other hand, that it would be much more of a show of disdain to make myself available to their romantic desires. I am the most stubborn and self-centered of men, when it comes to my freedom and privacy. "Marriage is divorce from the privacy a man loves." - Jim Elliott

- Though momentary grief might sway the tide of our understanding and our faith as the moon does the sea, the ever-abiding and all-powerful sovereignty of God still rules the entire system of this world--as the sun holds the earth in orbit, though in the night its light is not seen and its heat is not felt. The influence of the moon can be captivating, but the moon is only a counterfeit of the sun: it has no heat or light of its own--we must look at the greifs of our life as false shows of the reality that binds them. though the seas of our emotions will ebb and flow, we must remember that the orbit of our soul is surely locked in the grip of the sun's power. There is a much better and much clearer way to state this, but I haven't the time.

- Regarding our national freedom: it ought to be used for the extension and expansion of the kindgom of our true citizenship: that is, we ought to use our temporal national freedom to extend permanent spiritual freedom to as many peoples as possible.

- much anxiety results from the fear of losing something that is precious to us. If Christ is most precious, and there are few other sub-treasures, we are saved in the treasuring and are secured in that we can never lose Christ as long as he holds that throne.

- formerly my 'big questions' were doctrinal. they still are, but the big question is how do i apply them to the hard situations? how do i apply God's absolute sovereignty in counseling sexual abuse victims?
it is easy in the classroom. but talking to the object of the judgment is another. how do you say, "it happened because you do not treasure God as supreme?" not that i believe that's the only reason why God would let that happen--he is a masterful, ingenious, mind-blowing 'orchestrator' of events and emotions. his ways are unfathomable.

- how do i impart an esteem for gentleman-hood, for temperence, for discretion, for wisdom and sobriety, into a teenage boy? how do i make honor appealing? how do i make learning and intellectual wrestling and spiritual struggling desirable? that is, how do i undo the effects of this entire worldly culture?

just a few thoughts.

Sola Scriptura in Theological Method : John Frame: search for "Wells's analysis"

modernity's new way of thinking, according to Wells:

1. Subjectivism: basing one's life upon human experience rather than upon objective truth.
2. Psychological therapy as the way to deal with human needs.
3. A preoccupation with "professionalism," especially business management and marketing techniques as the model for achieving any kind of common enterprise.
4. Consumerism: the notion that we must always give people what they want or what they can be induced to buy.
5. Pragmatism: the view that results are the ultimate justification for any idea or action.
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Frame goes on to say this view is imbalanced, though true. A great article.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin,
Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759."

ProtestWarrior.com - mission:

"War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself." -- John Stuart Mill

What a great quote...

Youth Ministry without vision is like whitewater rafting with all of the whitewater and none of the raft: zero fun and, if not deadly, extremely painful.

So should the new name be "The Epicenter" ("Enter the EPIC"), or The Embassy? I like the Embassy--at least the mindset of it: we're ambassadors extending the interests of the Kingdom of Heaven in the kingdoms of the earth.

Driving back from Portsmouth I thought about the constant pressure I feel to read more Edwards, Brainard, Owen, Spurgeon, etc. I suddenly felt tired of reading about other men's relationships with God; other men's revelation of Scripture.

I am tired of it.

I want my own. My own relationship, my own revelation.

And now, remembering the faces, the conversations, the "f-bombs," the posters, worldview and lifestyle of the young community there, only a person with a real relationship--a direct one--with God will effect any change whatsoever. Sure, I could hang on the streets of OOB with the High Schoolers--but what about Portsmouth? What about the Old Port? Do I have that in me? If not here, how in some far-off dreamy third-world?

Tonight I am tired, and weary of academic Christianity. I listened to Piper's message Doing Missions When Dying is Gain again on the way to/from Portsmouth. It is still one of the best messages I've ever heard. But something is missing for me. That "thing that has me losing in life" still clings. Perhaps I am just plain weary--it is after 1 AM and I should've been in bed and asleep 2.5 hours ago...

...but oh, how I want my own. Oh how I want the days to slow down that I might have my own! I crawl into bed thinking--is this real? Has this day slipped by so fast? Is my life slipping by so fast? I was just here! What-WHAT-did I accomplish for the Kingdom today??

I am tired of it. And I want my own.

Man playing God: BBC NEWS | Health | Europe rejects foetal rights bid.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness." - from www.law.indiana.edu/uslawdocs/declaration.html

I started to italicize what I wanted to emphasize, but the entire thing is perfectly succinct. The role of government is to secure the blessings of Liberty--the Right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness - among other Rights. If we were to take this seriously, "we the people" need to "alter or abolish" and hit reset. The government has become destructive--in the worst way--of this unalienable Right to Life which was endowed by their Creator--who will be their voice? Who will cry for them?

Regarding civil disobedience, and a magistrate "abdicated his authority" because of an unjust law--how much authority do they abdicate? All of it? Some of it? None of it?

something I wrote today during a brief teaching on church growth: "There is a difference between catering the method to target numbers and targeting the good and managing the numbers." Somthing else I came across: "It is better to lose people for the sake of keeping the truth than to lose the truth for the sake of keeping people."

couple thoughts.

The rafting trip with NEOC went very well--I'm really sore. ONELIFE also went pretty well on Friday; I spoke about The Day of Independence, that our freedom from tyranny has slid insidiously into freedom from moral restraint and accountability. After this, one of the people there passed me a copy of Francis Schaeffer's A Christian Manifesto, which I'd heard about and probably started before but never finished. I could barely put it down, so started and finished it on Saturday. A very good book. Still plugging my way through too many books; can't wait to finish them all and move on to others such as Lost in America, The Closing of the American Mind, Amusing Ourselves to Death, and others.

I have a meeting with Jeff and Nate next week about the transition. I'm going to tell him in person first--I want him to hear it from me. The financial situation, and this situation--the mere thought of telling the kids I'm leaving, killing ONELIFE, where to go and what to do next, I could nearly break down and cry. And that would be much, much safer than the growing anxiety and frustration in my heart...and occasional borderline anger toward God. How dare I? How do I dare point a finger at him when I'm to blame for everything, and that he's to blame for nothing other than justice or mercy? We are so twisted. Unbelievably twisted.

Lord, help me.