"...I was once present when someone asked the poet Sophocles: 'How are you as far as sex goes, Sophocles? Can you still make love with a woman?' 'Quiet, man,' he replied, 'I am very glad to have escaped from all that, like a slave who has escaped from a savage and tyrannical master.' I thought at the time that he was right, and I still do, for old age brings peace and freedom from all such things. When the appetites relax and cease to importune us, everything Sophocles says comes to pass, and we escape from many mad masters." - Cephalus, Book I of Plato's Republic (Indianapolis/Cambridge: Hackett, 1992), pp. 3-4.

Mortification will bring about the same freedom--if not fully, at least to a great extent. (Rom. 8:13, Phil. 3)

I finished Ravi Zacharias' Light in the Shadow of Jihad last week, which was short but (and? so?) very good; also finished Luther's The Bondage of the Will last night at the beach. I am looking forward to Edwards' treatise on the same. I'm turning my attention again to Owen's Mortification of Sin for morning devotion to supplement my bible-reading. It is an urgent need.

Came across a couple very good articles last week: Sola Scriptura in Theological Method, by John Frame, and The Second Death of Socrates, by Michael Bauman. I emailed Dr. Bauman about the latter article, and he actually responded--I may post it.

I was rebuked yesterday when I read an editorial on an article on antithesis.com. The editor (Rob Schlapfer) blasted 'neo-conservatives' for quoting Calvin, Owen, et al more than the bible itself--"...what has happened to Sola Scriptura in practice?"

Ouch.

****
on another note: I think I might submit an article to boundless.org.

...said the supreme all-knowing, all-wise, never-errant judge of another man's servant. I have made the lion's share of mistakes, blunders, poor word choices, wavering opinions, uncertain assertions, reversals, equivocations, hesitations, and the rest in this life. Who am I to distribute ultimatums? Who am I to pose threats of separation? "Love covers a multitude of sins..." not just one or two. A multitude!

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were an offering far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine
demands my soul, my life, my all!

My apologies, Dr. Piper, for the arrogance. I still dislike the terminology, but God forbid that I should exact a mite from you when an abyss of debt has been cancelled for me. My "mouth has been shut," as Dr. Lloyd-Jones has well spoken.

this is disheartening.

particularly disappointing is the phrase "giving units." this kind of thinking enrages me. a major black mark for piper, in my opinion.

ONELIFE went well Friday, as did GROUNDZERO. I almost regret the message I gave at ONELIFE, however, since I used up nearly every juicy quote--worthy of a few weeks each--that I have. Lord, grant me, and enable me, to follow it with another strengthening and challenging message. I want to challenge their minds. I want to challenge their hearts. I want to be challenged. And I want us to truly operate in the Spirit of God. And I think these wants are God-authored and God-honoring.

Oh for more time and energy to read! My desire is so strong, yet my time is limited, and when my time allows, my concentration cannot handle the demands, despite my much improved diet, sleeping patterns, and excercise. I long to go through Edwards' Works in entirety--such a helpful passage I found in Vol. I, Notes on the Bible, concerning Romans 1.15-17--and then to move on to Owen, Bunyan, Calvin, Baxter, Schaeffer. Such inspiration to drink in the Spirit and feast on the Word is buried there!

Perhaps God will grant me to accomplish this. Yet, the big question is, "to what end?"

"...they also serve who only stand, and wait."

Finished Piper's Let the Nations Be Glad! The Supremacy of God in Missions last night. An excellent book. Now, what will come of me reading it (and the scads of others below) besides being able to say "yeah, I read that--it's good," or the increased knowledge I gained?

That, more than my words, will tell you how good the book *really* was. I have to say that, in reading it--especially the last part--I really longed to trek out with Wycliffe or some other frontier missions organization and reach the unreached people groups with the gospel--in their native language. And the question immediately goes to ability, which is the byproduct of calling. So: is that, truly, my calling? Or is the classroom? The pulpit?

These are the questions that try mens' souls...too many questions--not enough answers.

A thought in reference to the almost ridiculous quantity of books listed in the last post: some would think I read too much--the rest would probably agree. But to me books (or rather, the ideas they contain) are fuel--kindling. They (as compliments to the Word itself) help increase my view of God and my passion for Him and His kingdom. The view of God and Christ and what it means to be a Christian as typically presented today is not nearly as stirring to me (let alone radically biblical) as is that of Edwards, Spurgeon, Bunyan, Owen, even Piper, etc. The latter has substance, depth--it's nourishing.

As with any fire, though, I must admit that only the right kind of books, and the right number of books, are truly helpful to the fire. The wrong kind will get you nothing but strange fire and toxic smoke. Too few and one would lose so much richness, connection with those saints who have gone before--although I agree that one could probably do very well reading only the Word. But I agree with whomever it was that said "We see much further when we stand on the shoulders of others" --only if those shoulders are sturdy and pointed in the right direction. Too many books, and the fire will be smothered ("...much study is weariness to the bones"). I suppose that's why I so dislike having to spend valuable time reading books such as Courageous Leadership (Bill Hybels), Next Generation Leader (Andy Stanley), Primary Purpose (Ted Haggard), and The Five-Star Church (Stan Toler\Alan Nelson). It's not that they're so bad (maybe it is), but that the opportunity cost of spending time reading them instead is so high. I do not think these are the right kind of books to kindle passion. It's passion and holiness that are contagious and life-giving. None of these books would deny that; to the contrary they would agree. But where they succeed in asserting this, they fail in providing a passion-inducer. They fail in displaying a vision of God that inspires, humbles, satisfies, creates that same passion and longing...instead, they display a picture of successful ministry--which, they subtly imply, means that God must be at work, and therefore must be happy. It is pleasing God by pragmatism* and inference.

And there is a difference, I think--a big one. Powerful personalities and rugged, determined enthusiasm are not lasting alternatives to a passion kindled by the grandeur of almighty Sovereign God. J. C. Ryle, I believe, said "If you want to heat a church, put an oven in the pulpit." Personality warms lightly and briefly; "God-besotted" passion burns hot and long. It's a question of source.

*Note that I believe Christianity and Theology must be practical--but that is not at all the same as being pragmatic.

Just some thoughts.

Ah...I'm back; just had to reset my account since I'd forgotten both my username and password. I can't believe that it's been 6 months since my last one. (Not that anyone actually reads this.) Also not that I'll be blogging regularly now, but at least I'll have the option. And options are good--at least usually.

So I've done a lot of reading in the past 6 months, the most significant of which is definitely Jonathan Edwards' Dissertation on the End for which God Created the World, which is included in its entirety in John Piper's God's Passion for His Glory, where I read it. This view of God and of all reality has become the core understanding of my theology, worldview, and day-to-day (in theory, at least). Also in the list (for my own purposes, really) are: The Christian Pilgrim, The Excellency of Christ, The Preciousness of Time, Procrastination: the Sin and Folly of Depending on Future Time, (so far) the first II parts of his Religious Affections, and the majority of Dissertation on the Nature of True Virtue--all by Jonathan Edwards. Also: Desiring God (finally!), Don't Waste Your Life, and The Passion of Jesus Christ, not to mention scores of sermons and articles, by John Piper; also Life of God in the Soul of Man by Henry Scougal; TwentySomeone by Craig Dunham and Doug Serven; The Emerging Church by Doug Kimball, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliott, Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand, about half of The Forgotten Spurgeon by Iain Murray, and made some major headway in Paradise Lost by John Milton. I've also nearly completed Luther's De Servo Arbitrio--not that I'm reading it in Latin--also known as On the Bondage of the Will. (A worthy rant, though I'm eager to finish Edwards' Freedom of the Will--which I will probably get much more from.) Also finished John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, which (along with some of Brainard's early diary entries) started this whole thing--as you'll see below (above?).

There was also a short season wherein it seemed that only old poetry could bring me any peace. It was then that I began making serious headway in Milton, and delved into all my old college notes from Bauman's classes. Thomas Grey, Gerard Manly Hopkins, some Wordsworth, John Donne, others by Milton. God-besotted word-beauty can pull my soul from the slough like few other things--or at least bring me comfort amidst the struggle out. I'm sure I'm forgetting many other authors here, but I think I've accomplished my main goal--to capture a picture of where my mind and heart have been lingering these past few months.

Some of what I consider to be my best messages have been preached during this time. But all of that is nothing--meaningless. It has been one of the most difficult times of my life--all around. Which is probably why I've flown to all this great truth and beauty--perhaps not enough to the Word. I have felt so far from true communion with God--that which Scougal says is the true nature of religion--it has been truly numbing. I have spent many sleepless nights, waiting, watching, speechless before a (seemingly, faith says) empty expanse--some at the ocean staring into the black longing to see the heavens rolled away like a scroll, the world fall away and the heavens revealed before my eyes. Utter alone-ness. I have felt, and dealt with, loneliness before. But never alone-ness such as this. Psalm 42 and 43 have been a great help to me, along with Romans 8 and "the great sixth of John," as Bunyan called it. The culmination of which hope I poured into my most recent message, "Hope in God!" which I gave at ONELIFE. I think it was encouraging.

I am moving on from this place. To where, I don't yet know--but I hope, I pray, I beg, that it is God-inspired and according to His perfect plan. For that is all my desire, and all my design. That's it for now.