The rafting trip with NEOC went very well--I'm really sore. ONELIFE also went pretty well on Friday; I spoke about The Day of Independence, that our freedom from tyranny has slid insidiously into freedom from moral restraint and accountability. After this, one of the people there passed me a copy of Francis Schaeffer's A Christian Manifesto, which I'd heard about and probably started before but never finished. I could barely put it down, so started and finished it on Saturday. A very good book. Still plugging my way through too many books; can't wait to finish them all and move on to others such as Lost in America, The Closing of the American Mind, Amusing Ourselves to Death, and others.

I have a meeting with Jeff and Nate next week about the transition. I'm going to tell him in person first--I want him to hear it from me. The financial situation, and this situation--the mere thought of telling the kids I'm leaving, killing ONELIFE, where to go and what to do next, I could nearly break down and cry. And that would be much, much safer than the growing anxiety and frustration in my heart...and occasional borderline anger toward God. How dare I? How do I dare point a finger at him when I'm to blame for everything, and that he's to blame for nothing other than justice or mercy? We are so twisted. Unbelievably twisted.

Lord, help me.